


falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

by Its_mary4



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, POV Second Person, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29165952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_mary4/pseuds/Its_mary4
Summary: For you, It seemed like you've been running after him for forever just to end up being a minute too late , a second too late , a moment too late. Over and over and over again.No matter how fast you go. He will always be a step ahead of you.
Kudos: 2





	falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a lyrics from gold rush by my queen Taylor Swift.
> 
> English isn't my first language so I apologize for any mistakes I might've made.

You've always felt like a glass. So fragile. So easy to be shattered. That's why you strived for perfection , so you can pretend you were a diamond.

To be a prodigy wasn't as much of something that you wanted as it was more of something that you needed. You needed that image to hide behind and with your attitude and empty confidence it was easier.That smile that never reached your eyes helped distracting people away from the cracks on your skin.

And everything worked fine for you that way. Until you met him. He was everything you weren't. He was the diamond you always pretended to be. He was real unlike you. And oh how you wanted to be like him. How hard you worked to overshine him.

You were always almost close enough to reach him , but almost was never enough for you. 

For you, It seemed like you've been running after him for forever just to end up being a minute too late , a second too late , a moment too late. Over and over and over again. 

No matter how fast you go. He will always be a step ahead of you.

It's too frustrating , isn't it ? To have what you want slipping away from your hand no matter how tight you hold. It feels like trying to keep a handful of soil. 

It's so hard , isn't it ? To feel like you're flying until you suddenly crash. Until you suddenly realize that birds with broken wings like you can never dream of beating eagles. 

What kind of thoughts consume your pretty little mind before you sleep ? 

Is it self-hatred ? For always pretending as if you felt like a king when you're in fact nothing but a little boy. 

Is it self-pity ? For the fact that you will never reach the expectations you placed on your own shoulders. 

Is it possible it's shame ? For disappointing every single person who decided to place their trust in you. 

Fear ? Maybe you are just afraid of the cold darkness that you're slowly drowning in. Afraid that you won't find a way out. Afraid that no one cares enough to extend a hand to pull you out. Because in the end you're not worthy of kindness or love or even help. 

Or so you tell yourself because you don't realise this yet. How could you when you're too busy eating yourself inside to notice. You don't notice your friends' worried looks. You don't notice how much your mother cherishes you unconditionally. You don't notice how proud your sister is. How loved you're. You don't. 

So for now just close your pretty brown eyes and rest because none of this will matter in a few years anyways. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this. Comments and Kudos are appreciated. Also I hope you found some kind of comfort in it , because I did while writing it.
> 
> I wrote this as a vent since I kin Oikawa , so it might be inaccurate to his character since I projected my own thoughts onto him.
> 
> Please comment any thoughts you have about my characterization of him.


End file.
